CJDave, Amen. Good post. Especially the comments regarding self-esteem. Self-esteem is developed through a combination of many factors and is a quality that is highly overated IMHO. The coddling that goes on today in the name of avoiding damage to a child's self-esteem is not one of those factors. All of the examples of "failures to launch" or problem kids that I know of have one thing in common: enabling parents who turned a blind eye when tough love was needed and gave the kids everything they wanted.
You are absolutely right about the value of hard work and contribution. Those values get taught early on and reinforced continually through example and consistent behavior. There is also no book that applies to every kid. As you point out, you've got to find the "drawstrings" on each one individually.
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